A LEADERSHIP LESSON FROM MARS

I saw the movie, The Martian, shortly after its 2015 release. At the time, I thought that it was a good but not great movie. Matt Damon stars as astronaut Mark Watney on a mission to Mars. (I feel obliged to call a Spoiler Alert here. I’m about to reveal important details of the plot). He’s stranded on Mars alone when his team mates leave for the return trip to earth. He’s rescued and returns heroically to earth. And he continues his career on earth as an instructor in the Astronaut Candidate Program.

I saw the movie again recently and I still don’t think it’s going to win any awards. But… what did catch my attention was both the quantity and quality of memorable leadership moments that are tucked into this two hour film. There are the obvious ones about perseverance, resilience and MacGyver-esque innovation. All worthy topics.

But my favorite leadership lesson came at the very end of the movie, when Mark Watney gave the new class of astronaut candidates a dose of reality based leadership as he described the most important take-away from his experience on Mars. Here’s what he said: “This is space; it does not cooperate. At some point, everything’s going to go south on you – everything! And you’re going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now, you can either accept that or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin. You solve one problem; one challenge; then you solve the next one. If you solve enough problems, you get to come home.” Simple. Powerful. Brilliant.

I think this leadership lesson applies directly to you and me as we face daily challenges in our work. Ditch the drama. Stop catastrophizing. Lighten up. Be a serial solution seeker. Repeat the next day.

The Power of One Liners

Comedians deliver them artfully and get big laughs. Singles use them to start a conversation and maybe a relationship. Advertisers use them to get you to buy stuff. And politicians rely on them to win your vote.

When it comes to coaching and teaching, one liners can also promote growth and learning; help us to sustain awareness and new habits and, perhaps most importantly, provide a simple way to pass along ideas and share knowledge (maybe even wisdom) with our colleagues. One of Vantage International’s clients fondly coined the phrase ‘Leta-isms’ to describe her favorite one liners from my own conversations and educational programs!!  

“We love to have you work with us.  We call your one liners "Leta-isms" in Library Land.”     Kathy

One liners are effective because they are:

• Easy to remember and repeat
• Memorable in some way – a unique way of thinking about something; humorous or entertaining; or just plain clever
• Worth remembering – they make a point 

  

Be aware that not all of my one liners are my original material. I’ve collected powerful phrases that have helped me to grow and achieve success over a decade on two; and I generously sprinkle them throughout my coaching conversations, public and private because they do the same for others.

Here is a list of the Vantage International team’s favorite ‘Leta-isms’:

• Own the moment!
• Be the best version of yourself each day!
• Big doors swing on small hinges.
• Know yourself to grow yourself.
• Lead from your seat.
• Be memorable in a good way each day.
• Don’t let anyone or anything dull your sparkle.
• Be better and different. 
• Reach for the stars and settle for the moon.
• Good is the enemy of great. (From Jim Collins)
• Practice leadership & followership every day.
• What you permit, you promote.
• Manage things…Coach people.

Now it’s your turn! What’s that one thought, one quote, one word or phrase that made a huge difference for your leadership trajectory? What’s your favorite one liner?

Own The Moment!

I love this simple, powerful phrase because it embodies the essence of everyday leadership. I’m using it more and more as a memorable call to action to show up as the very best version of yourself throughout your work day.

Here’s why it’s become one of my favorite workplace mantras:

1. It reminds us that we are owners of our experience, our work and the success of the entire organization.
2.  It offers a gentle reminder that the small choices that we make throughout our day – moment by moment – are important and that we are more influential than we think.
3. It makes leading a very intentional, purposeful work life seem more doable. It might seem nearly impossible to choose one’s behaviors, thoughts and attitudes for the entire day, which, for too many of us, stretches beyond the traditional eight hours. But to focus in the moment and make courageous decisions – that suddenly seems possible.
4. It supports a culture of personal accountability in which each of us is seen as a capable adult.
5. It’s easy to remember and uncomplicated in its message.

So, how do we translate ‘owning the moment’ into practical action? For me, it means that:

• We thoughtfully relate to others throughout our day. We pay attention to others and we practice the Platinum Rule, treating others as they want to be treated.
• We plan and prepare for meetings, interviews, conversations, and interactions with each other and with our customers, clients or patients so that we can be most useful in those moments. 
•  We are our best selves more often.
• We consider the consequences, intended and unintended, of our words, non-verbal messaging, attitudes, behaviors and general approach.
• We choose to act as adults.
• We sincerely want to help others to have great outcomes, memorable experiences and success. We let others shine and it feels good to us.
• We keep our word, our commitment, to live by our organizational values, our rules of engagement and our very best practices.
• We affirm a realistic optimism in all that we say and do.
• We stand up and do the right thing, even when it’s hard, risky or unpopular.

What does ‘own the moment’ mean to you? What will you do differently tomorrow to own more moments?

Week 1 Leadership Dare: During the next meeting that you attend, own the moment by helping the facilitator to conduct a successful meeting. What would it look like and feel like to be the best version of yourself at that meeting? Remember, little stuff matters!

Week Two Leadership Dare:  This week, I have challenge that may be really tough, even for the best of us. But it wouldn’t be a challenge if it didn’t stretch us, right? So, here goes:

This week, whenever you receive constructive feedback on some aspect of your approach or behavior, I dare you to OWN THE MOMENT! Instead of a knee jerk reaction to shut down, become defensive, dismiss the person(s) and/or their perspective  or even go on the offense and shoot back a sarcastic or cynical response, choose to be your best self. Really think about what the other person had to say. Consider the real possibility that you may have a blind spot when it comes to your behavior. Allow for the fact that this feedback may be spot on. Ask questions to gain more clarity. Think about other options that you could have considered. Don’t overlook the opportunity to thank the person who delivered the feedback. It’s a courageous best practice. Finally ponder what they said and make a commitment to change if it’s the right thing to do.

Sounds simple but it’s not easy to do, particularly if it’s not your habit today. Take the dare and own the moment! 

Vacation Rituals: The First Day Back

There was a distant point in my career when I had a love/hate relationship with my vacation. On the one hand, I really understood the value that vacations could create in my life. Time away from the workplace is a much needed opportunity to recharge my batteries, shake off dysfunctional comfort, renew my passion and commitment, feed my sense of adventure and exploration and tend to my most prized relationships. On the other hand, I’d darn near kill myself beforehand to get outstanding work complete (or at least moving forward); and I’d stay plugged in while I was away. Worst of all, in the final days of my vacation, I’d start dreading my first day back in the office. Wading through piles of correspondence; steeling myself for the back to back meeting schedule that awaited my return; and playing a mean game of ‘catch up’ on all of the projects and other ‘stuff’ that continued to move (or not) in my absence. Sadly, I sometimes wondered if taking a vacation was really worth it; after all, there was a pretty hefty price to pay for being away….

It’s almost painful for me to think back to those days. But, that was then and this is now. And I didn’t know then what I know now and that is…..

•  Taking a vacation increases productivity, creativity & innovation and engagement. Contrary to the old school way of thinking, it’s not a ‘zero sum game’. The gain that you can receive from vacation does not necessarily translate to a loss for the organization!
•   You can create a healthier pre- and post- ‘vacation ritual’ that doesn’t leave you drained.

Almost a decade ago, I decided to intentionally create a different experience that would allow me to enjoy vacation time, wring as much personal value from it as possible AND build a smoother reentry to the express lane on which we travel together at work!

Here are some of my personal top tips for changing your relationship with ‘vacation time’ forever:

1.      Use your vacation time (duh)!  Did you know that those of us in the US work in the only developed country in the world without a single legally required paid vacation day or holiday? And one in four of us doesn’t have a single paid day off?  So, if you’ve got them, use them.  We’re taking the least amount of vacation time in over 40 years and leaving $52.4 billion on the table by not using all of our time off.  Plan most of your time off and schedule in advance.  Reserve a few days for spontaneity and for the unexpected.  It’s a booster shot for commitment, innovation, productivity and engagement.
2.      Delegate strategically both before and after vacation.  These are bona fide opportunities to build your bench strength and fortify your succession plan.  And you will fall in love with the freedom and peace of mind that this gives you.  I make it a practice to identify one or two people who are standing in for me (in general or project specific) while I’m gone. These folks know the boundaries and have the power to act within them.  If you haven’t been coaching your team members for such stretch assignments, start NOW and work toward your next vacation. Control freaks, beware!! This is going to be a tough assignment.
3.       If you’re spending your vacation away from your home base, allow at least one day between returning home and returning to work.  While it may seem to some that this cuts one’s vacation short, I have found it to be an incredibly helpful buffer, particularly if time zone changes are involved.  Return to as many of your normal habits, e.g. exercise, as possible that day. Savor this day!
4.      Carve out specific time on your first day back to work to debrief with those who stepped into your role and to handle top priorities. This means scheduling specific time on your calendar before you leave for these crucial conversations.  Be specific about your expectations for the debriefing sessions.  Don’t forget to focus on what went well and offer both acknowledgement as well as coaching. Grow your team members!!
5.      Make that first day back, special in some way.  Spread around your appreciation for the work that was done in your absence. Share the freedom that you experienced, knowing that your capable team was moving things forward.  Arrange (before you leave) for a special treat – e.g. coffee, cookies – for everyone that day.
6.       Be intentional!  Check in with yourself on any limiting thoughts or beliefs that you currently hold around vacation (time away from work).  Remember, the most important conversation that you have each day is the one with yourself!  In your head!  Challenge your same old same old thinking – If I hadn’t chosen to do this work, I may still be stuck in the ‘vacations aren’t worth it’ mindset.  Create affirmations and use them throughout the month before you leave.  Remember, to change your experience, you must first change your mind (thoughts).
7.       Boldly unplug from your work related electronics while on vacation. Yes, completely! Trust that your team members will step up to the leadership challenge; that they are smart enough, resourceful enough and committed enough to do a credible job.

  

Are you ready for a leadership challenge?

Week 1 Challenge:  Commit to your vacation!

Today, I dare you to check your available vacation time for the next 12 months and make tentative (yes, I know you have to check in with others!) choices on when you’ll use that time. Hold those dates on your calendar. Confirm those tentative dates within two weeks. Share those dates with your team. Encourage them to use their time off throughout the year as well.

Week 2 Challenge:  Let’s go tech naked!

If you and your technology have never been separated before, then don’t go cold turkey on your vacation. Instead, start smaller and unplug for one day over the weekend. So, this Saturday or Sunday, put your technology out of sight and get comfortable with letting go. Invite others to call you on your home phone if there is a true emergency.

Week 3 Challenge:  Work from the inside out!

This week, examine your own thoughts and feelings about time away from work. Write them down. Do they portray a positive, healthy mindset? Do they represent who you were, who you are or who you want to be?

If it’s time for a makeover, then re-write the script for the next conversation with yourself. Tell yourself a new story – the benefit of vacations for yourself and others. The ease with which you’ll return to work and re-engage. The freedom you’ll enjoy. The joy of giving undivided attention to yourself and family. Create a series of affirmations that lock in this new way of thinking. 

Week 4 Challenge:  Activate A New Vacation Habit

This week, select one tip from my top picks list and use it! Or, if you’ve identified a new habit that is very meaningful to you, then select it instead. Begin to take action now so that you can use it during your next vacation.

Evaluate its effectiveness.

What Can A Rose Teach Us About Workplace Relationships?

It seems like forever ago that I came across ‘The Rose Story.’ I don’t remember the source or the circumstances; what I do remember is that it was one of those mini AHA moments for me. A real whack on the side of my head!

The Rose Story popped into my mind twice in the past few weeks as I was engaged in two separate but similar coaching conversations. In both cases, capable leaders committed to the coaching model were struggling with disappointment and frustration.  In one situation, the leader was second guessing herself for promoting a rising star to a challenging position. From the leader’s perspective, the individual was ‘letting her down’ by not rising to the occasion. In fact, the newly promoted team member seemed overwhelmed and unsteady in the role. The leader was increasingly frustrated by the amount of time, energy and attention that was personally required of her to support this person and the work.

In the other case, a savvy, experienced leader was impatient, unsupportive and overly critical of a new colleague. From the experienced leader’s perspective, the new colleague had not ‘earned’ an executive position; she was immature, overly eager and inexperienced.  And now they were peers; it just didn’t seem fair or reasonable to her.

I think that it’s too easy to fall into such traps. Using ourselves as we are today as the gold standard for everyone else. And perhaps conveniently forgetting our own missteps and insecurities on our leadership journeys. If we are to become more masterful coach leaders, then most of us must fundamentally shift our thinking about the people around us at work. We need to begin to acknowledge and affirm that we are all capable, smart, talented, creative, willing and accountable. We have to understand that we are at different stages of leadership & professional maturity; and of education & experience. And that different is okay. It doesn’t mean less than or inferior. That’s the powerful lesson that a rose can teach us about the people with whom we work. And by teaching us about others, it simultaneously enlightens us about ourselves. Read on for your own personal AHA moment: 

 THE ROSE

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small but we do not criticize it as “rootless” and “stemless”. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as “immature” and “under-developed”; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care that it needs at each stage of its growth. Finally, as the rose’s bloom fades and the petals fall, we gather them and use them for fragrance and healing. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.

Here’s your May leadership challenge:

Week 1:  Keeping the Rose Story in mind, reach out to someone around you who is starting a new leg of their career journey (or maybe taken on a significant challenge) and nurture & nourish that person. Recognize their potential. Express belief in them; encourage & feed them through affirmation. Then stand back and watch them take root!!

Week 2: Share the Rose Story with others. Your team. Someone who may be struggling with self-doubt. Using coaching questions ask people what it means to them and how we can apply it to our relationships at work.

Week 3: Perfect enough! That’s the theme of our leadership challenge this week. The Rose Story applies to you too. You are perfect enough right where you are. You care enough. Know enough. Do enough. Make it a priority to tend to yourself. Affirm and appreciate who you are today and look to be both better and different every day. I often tell myself, “I’m satisfied with who and where I am while eagerly anticipating even more in the future!)

Week 4: Collect Positive Aspects! The final leadership dare of the month is to purposefully look around your workplace. Celebrate the wonderful diversity. Rejoice that everyone isn’t exactly like youJ Think of each member of your team or work group and identify one or two things that are positive or great about them. What are their special talents? What unique contribution do they make? Then make it a point this week to share your insights.  Give them the care and attention that they want and need to build and grow themselves.

Create Your Own Brand Of March Madness!

March Madness is a nickname indelibly stuck to the single elimination Division I college basketball tournament that occurs each Spring in the US. Get ready because it’s coming! From March 15 to April 6 millions of people will be possessed by this affliction. You don’t even have to be a basketball fan to get swept up. Before you know it, you’ve joined an office pool, become a bracketologist (yes, there is such a word); and find yourself cheering for teams to which you have no emotional ties!

For me, the word ‘madness’ does a good job of capturing the sustained energy and excitement associated with the tournament:

So much constant action

So many games

So many teams

The element of unpredictability

The emotional highs and lows

The thrill of an ‘upset’

Everyday heroics

Single minded grit and determination to make it to the next round; to win the ultimate prize

The magic of a high performing team

The inspiring performance of an underdog

Over the top school spirit

And so much more…..

What if we co-opted this term?

What if we co-create our own brand of ‘March Madness?’ No dribbling or shooting involved.

What if we harnessed the passion, the energy, the excitement, the fun and the esprit de corps that are characteristic of the tournament and creatively put them to work in our workplaces, departments and teams?

For me, this feels like the perfect antidote to the energy drain associated with an all too long winter and a great way to shift into refresh and renewal mode as Spring arrives. 

I’ve come up with some leadership bright ideas for delivering a memorable March Madness experience in your workplace throughout the month ahead. Of course, once your creative juices start flowing, develop your own unique ways to catch the ‘feva.’

Don’t forget to share your most creative ideas with us!!

March Madness Challenge 1: During one recent NCAA tournament, a Kentucky coach shared the following secret to his team’s success. He said, “We don’t practice until we get it right. We intentionally practice until we don’t get it wrong.” I found this to be a thought provoking insight. Share this with your team and lead a discussion on what it means to you and your team mates. Identify one thing that you can collectively do differently to ‘intentionally practice until you don’t get it wrong’.

March Madness Challenge 2: There’s a big difference between frenetic energy and focused energy. The former is hurried and harried. We might be checking things off the list; but are we doing our best work? The right work? In a sustained way? In the latter, we aim ourselves strategically and bring our best selves to the work. Sometimes, we’ve got to slow the game down a bit to win.  Name one or two ways in which you can ‘slow down to speed up.’ That is, identify one or two areas in which we can pause briefly and get fanatically focused on what we need to do to create a great outcome.

Stay tuned for two additional March Madness Challenges!

See the Good!

As we settle in to the beginning of another new year, it feels as though it’s the ideal time to refresh our thinking and power up our commitment to intentionally acknowledge what’s right or what’s work around us – in our own lives and with our own work, with our team efforts and with our organization as a whole. (Yeah, I know, this is almost an ‘anti –new year’s resolution’ approach. It’s by design!)

We become what we think about all day long, right? 

Beginning any meeting, conversation, or even a new year, with a firm focus on what’s working around you creates a solid foundation for building enthusiasm, confidence and momentum for more. It gets us on a roll and moving in the right direction. As coach leaders, acknowledging everyday successes is one small way of building and growing ourselves and those around us. And you may be surprised to discover just how many things went well when you put your mind to it! Woo Hoo!!

So let’s get right to it! Take a long look in the rearview mirror at 2014. As you consider the following powerful questions, remember, big doors swing on small hinges; little stuff matters!!

• What are all of the things that went really well for you in 2014? Already this year?
• What was the ‘best’ mistake that you/we made in 2014 that provided great learning for you/us? 
• What was the biggest risk that you took in 2014? Personally? Professionally?
• What was the biggest stretch for you as a leader in 2014?
• What was THE best learning moment of 2014 for you?
• What is your favorite example of someone around you leading from their seat in your organization?

Now, you have to admit, 2014 was full of thrills, adventure and, yes, even, successes (or successes initially disguised as failure)!! And there’s more good news…you don’t have to wait until next January to see the good in 2015!

If you’re not stretching and growing, you’re done!

I have a friend who has an offbeat saying for every occasion. The title of this piece is one saying that she shared frequently with me. Her point is that the process of learning and developing Is a never ending journey. I can testify to the fact that playing a part in someone else’s success strategy by helping them to be both better and different is incredibly rewarding.

As coach leaders, I believe that it’s our responsibility to care enough about others around us at work to engage with them in the growth process. And by others, I mean our direct reports, our peers, our teammates and even our boss! Through a collaborative and supportive relationship with us, someone may find their courage and dare to reach to the next level of their potential. And that’s a Wow for all involved! Notice that I said – collaborative and supportive relationship! We need to check in on our intention during this work to be sure that it’s pure. This isn’t about us being manipulative even subtly; for example, to get someone to do what we want them to do because that meets our needs or agenda.

Professional growth typically involves several core elements. I’ll briefly introduce each here and we’ll do a deeper dive on and a leadership dare for several of them throughout the month. As you consider each of these, reflect at two levels – think about your own development and then think about assisting others with their development work.

Risk – Growth isn’t about playing small or playing it safe. The performance challenge here is to move beyond our current limitations. Pretty exciting stuff and pretty scary too. It’s often not enough to settle for modest progress these days. Playing small isn’t serving our organizations.

Expansion – Professional growth involves expansion in some way or another. Moving to the next level; doing more of something; breaking with and breaking through habits.

Visioning – When it comes to people growing, we have to have a destination in mind – the desired future. Crafting a vision and a route and then holding it vividly in our mind’s each day is how top performers in all fields achieve their goals. The Cheshire Cat in ‘Wonderland’ said it best to Alice: “Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.”

Stickiness or Sustainability – Growth is about both internal and external change. We’ve got to replace current (maladaptive) habits with fresh ones so that they become a permanent part of who we are and what we do. In other words, intentionality needs to be woven into all growth work. It’s what gives us courage to create and then hold onto a bigger picture of ourselves.

By now you might have concluded that truly challenging others to grow can be a demanding experience. You’re right! But the alternatives, stagnation; settling for ‘average’ or dysfunctional comfort (or according to my friend, being done/‘dead’ professionally) simply aren’t acceptable.

Here’s your leadership dare: Demonstrate the power of growth by growing yourself first. You first!  

“At the boundaries, life blossoms”     -James Gleick 

Assist Others To Identify Their Greatness

Lots of people tell me it’s so much easier to focus on what’s wrong with them (their ‘weaknesses or what they’re not good at) versus what they’re really, really great at. I think that’s because it’s a long standing habit for many of us. We’ve focused there for so long, it’s come to define us. It’s what our self talk is all about. This often limits a person’s willingness and ability to stretch into more challenging assignments, take some risk at work and perform at higher levels. In other words, it can prevent people from leading from their seat!

It’s in everyone’s best interest to help people own the best that is in them!  If we’re tuning into others regularly and training our eyes and ears to unearth strengths, we can see someone else’s potential long before they do. So, as a coach leader, what can you practically do to help others look in the mirror and see what you see? Here are some ideas that you can implement lickety split:

1. Work on yourself first! Let’s get better at uncovering the brilliance in others. Pick one person each day for a week and list all of the assets or positive qualities that s/he has. Be sure to select a variety of people, not only those for whom you already have an affinity.
2. Share your thoughts with each person and listen/observe their feedback.
3. Complete a learning exercise with your team. Ask each person to identify their own signature strengths and their growing edges (this is my reframing of ‘weaknesses’). Review and discuss in detail in your one-on-one meeting OR, if the team is ready for a challenge, review and discuss together at a team meeting!
4. Check out the strengths finder website, www.strengths-finder.com , for other potential tools and techniques. 

The Look and Feel of Everyday Leadership

If you haven’t already heard, nominations for Vantage International’s 2nd annual Take The Lead (TTL) Award are now being accepted! Woo Hoo! This is both an exciting and rewarding time here at our headquarters because we get to hear about the inspired actions of the many everyday leaders in today’s workplace from people like you!  We celebrate the fact that we are intentionally making a contribution to the movement  to re-imagine who we are at work and how we get our work done together. In partnership with each of you, we’re redefining leadership and that’s nothing short of revolutionary!!

Here’s my leadership dare for each of you: Make a commit to nominate an individual or a team (yes, this year, we’ve added a team category!) for the TTL Award and then take action to get it done! For some of us, that means that we’ll have to refocus our own leadership lens and see our team mates, co-workers and colleagues differently than we have in the past. The great news is that everyday leaders are everywhere!! At every level and layer in every organization around the world.

How do you spot an everyday leader?  No one is perfect, but everyday leaders really do set themselves apart by their thoughts, attitudes, behaviors and how they relate to others. What are the attributes and attitudes of someone who leads from their seat every single day? Here are some tell-tale signs that an everyday leader is at work ;-) They…

¬  Act as accountable adults day in and day out at work

¬  Know their job inside & out

¬  See themselves as an ‘owner’ of the organization

¬  Directly connect their everyday work to the organization’s overall success

¬  Look for ways to be different & better daily (because stakes are high)

¬  Know what others do & how it fits with their ‘stuff’

¬  They rarely offer excuses. Instead, they work with creativity, grit & gusto

¬  Assume they have only part of the picture and value other ideas to get the full picture

¬  Avoid constant comparisons (e.g., She took a longer break. He gets all of the best assignments)

¬  Actively help others to be at their best

¬  Applaud & celebrate their team or department

¬  Listen with a cooperative ear

¬  Tune in to their own self-talk and CHOOSE the messages that they send to themselves throughout the day

¬  Choose to be upbeat rather than beaten up

So, what do you think about this list? Does someone(s) come to mind? Hope so!

Because I’m on the lookout for everyday leaders, I see them everywhere and not simply in my clients’ organizations!  That's supremely satisfying for me personally!.  Once you train your own leadership lens differently, you’ll see them too --- sometimes hidden in plain sight. The person in the next cubicle. Our ‘go-to’ team member. The gal at Starbuck’s who lifts your spirits every single morning without fail. The reservationist at a hotel. The administrative assistant at your physician’s office. And the list goes on and on…

Consider these three stellar examples of everyday leaders at work:

Everyday Leader #1 – A competent security guard at a NY casino, Cora, goes far beyond her j-o-b description to connect with guests.  She greets everyone warmly, and returning guests by name! Her special brand of service helps each person to feel uniquely valued by the organization. She generously shares tokens of appreciation – handmade jewelry – with everyone. She is an amazing bright spot. Truly selfless. Positive and appreciative. Creative. I look forward to seeing her each time that I visit!!  And based on the crowd that gathers around her security desk at times, others feel the same way that I do!

Everyday Leader #2 – On a recent flight from Baltimore to Boston, I was thoroughly impressed with the entire Airtran/Southwest crew. They looked and acted happy, yet completely professional. They were engaged with each passenger and I simply know that I was not the only person to feel ‘special.’ They sincerely thanked you for being with them that day; and they did everything it their power to assure a smooth, safe and pleasant experience. And…they delivered!!! I fly frequently, so it takes a lot to get my attention. I cannot remember the last time that I exited a plane smiling!  This crew was memorable in a good way!  They are a team of everyday leaders.

Everyday Leader #3 – We’re currently installing a geothermal heating system in our home and the company representative really lead from his seat throughout the process. He arrived early for our appointment; complimented our home; connected with us; knew his ‘stuff’ inside and out.  He listened carefully to our questions and gave us honest answers. Kept his promises in terms of follow-up.; even sent us a personal thank you note!  It was so easy for both my husband and I to develop swift trust with this professional. Does this sound like someone with whom you would want to work?

Now the ball’s in your court.  It’s your turn to recognize someone for the difference that they make at work. To acknowledge and appreciate someone else’s greatness. .And to celebrate what’s right or good in our world of work!  Make a commitment to nominate someone. And then make a plan to get that nomination completed!

Submit your Everyday Leader nomination here:  http://www.vantage-inter.com/2013-ttl-award/2014-ttl-award

Stay tuned as we’ll be posting related leadership tips/dares throughout November!!

Leadership Dare 1 – Complement someone on the way in which they lead from their seat each day. Be specific in your description. Make it a surprise. Thank the person for setting such a fine example..

 Leadership Dare 2 – Add a section to your regular staff meetings called ‘Everyday Leadership’ moments. Ask all participants to come prepared to describe a recent example of everyday leadership at work in your organization.
 

Ask, Don’t Tell

If you really, really want to build richer relationships at work, help others to lead from their seats, create a culture of owners and become a more influential force in your organization, then you need to make it a priority to master the art of asking great questions!  Now, there are many different types of questions. Background questions. Open-ended and close- ended ones. Confirming questions. Then there are the ones to which I’m referring - the powerful, provocative kind. The ones that:

• Have a purpose beyond information
• Can interrupt a typical thought process
• Have the potential to result in a breakthrough or an aha moment
• Come from and/or follow clearly listening to someone
• Are almost always followed by silence as you allow the question to marinate in the other person’s
• Stem from genuinely wanting to help someone(s) learn & grow.

Asking powerful, provocative questions (or practicing collaborative inquiry, as it’s called) is a hallmark skill of the coach leader. What makes mastery of this skill so challenging is that most business professionals have been conditioned for a very long time to use a telling approach in their communication – I’ll tell you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I’ll direct this team, this project, this work. I’ll lobby for my preferred solution. Telling rather than asking is one of those habits that I’m encouraging you to unlearn! Now!

Let’s really think about the strategic advantages that cultivating a habit of asking instead of telling delivers to you, to the other person(s) and to your organization:

•   A powerful question invites the other person(s) to come up with their own solutions. That’s big! It fosters a greater sense of ownership and opens up the opportunity for others to ‘lead from their seats.’
• It can be a portal for innovation and creativity. You may have a good solution to a problem. You may have one right answer for a situation. But someone else might have an even better one! Someone else’s idea could be a best practice.
•  Asking someone for their thoughts or opinions says to that person, “ I value your perspective. I think you’re smart and capable. I trust you.”
•  A shift from telling to asking helps us to acknowledge that we’re not the only person with worthy ideas.
• Asking intentional questions allows us to fulfill the #1 priority for us all in business – to build and grow others around us! Think about the boost of confidence that someone may feel when you ask a question and really listen to their ideas and solutions! 

Developing the self-discipline of asking questions more often will have a huge payoff for you and the organization. But it’s a skill and perfecting a skill takes time, energy, desire, focus and practice. Also, it will take more time to ask questions than tell someone what to do. You need to decide if that short term investment of time is worth the long term dividends of building more independent thinkers and leaders around you! I’m hopeful that you’ll say YES to this opportunity. I’m rooting for each of you!

Powerful, probing questions share some features. They’re:

• Non-judgmental, non-critical
• Simple & straightforward. In fact, most times, the simpler they are, the better they are.
• Asked with a neutral tone of voice
• Followed by silence & clear listening. Yes, you actually have to listen to the other person’s response.

Piece of cake, right? Not so fast. Take it from someone who has been refining my questioning habit for a very long time, it’s simple but not easy to do day in and day out.  So let’s make certain that we have a shared understanding of these points by using a few examples.

Example 1: One of the best questions is also one of the simplest and most effective: “What do you think?” In fact, Tom Peters calls this sentence the four most powerful words in business!  You ask this question and then you listen and allow the other person to think about it and offer their ideas. It sends all of the right messages to the other person – you’re valued; you’re smart and capable; your idea might be the best idea….

Example 2: Here’s an example of how to make-over a same old same old comment into a strong coaching question:

            From: You’re always late in getting out our meeting minutes!

            To: What’s the timeline that you typically follow for releasing our meeting minutes?

So, how can you sharpen your inquiry ability so that you develop the habit of asking, rather than telling and, once you’re in the rhythm of asking, turning good questions into great ones? Here are some do-ables to get you started:

• Start asking more questions! Duh. Make the choice and work through that feeling of awkwardness. It’ll pass. Repetition & determination are your dynamic duo.
• Preare for one-on-one and team meetings by jotting down some possible questions related to key topics. Cultivate the habit of checking those questions before speaking.
• Create a ‘powerful questions’ bank. Think ahead about typical situations that you encounter in your organization and create one or two coaching questions for each. For even more impact, make it a team project.
• Use the go-to question – “What do you think?” Don’t forget to follow it with silence (yes, shutting up is a great skill to master!).
• Find a partner and work on this together. Ask your partner to highlight any missed opportunities to use the ask, don’t tell approach.
• Put your mind and heart to it. To change your habit, you’re going to have to be aware and intentional. You’ve gotta want this new habit to catch fire.
• To sum it all up, coach leaders intentionally replace the habit of “telling people around us what to do” with the new habit of asking questions of others. This is immensely beneficial because it allows the other person to create their own solutions, to take moderate risks, to become more effective decision makers, and to more fully engage in the everyday life of the organization.

Sometimes, I’m asked if asking more questions is really that big of deal. What do you think?

***RELATED LEADERSHIP TIPS***

Leadership Tip #1

Take the Tom Peters challenge to jump start your new inquiry habit! Pick a work day in the next week. For that day, make it your business to ask the question “What do you think?” in appropriate situations. Keep track of the number of times that you say it. At the end of the day, check your total. Notice what difference that question made. Celebrate new insights and relationship wins. Sustain this newly acquired habit.

Leadership Tip #2

Here are two of my favorite quotes on questioning for you to contemplate:

"We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong." – Bono

"The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions." - Antony Jay

Leadership Tip #3

How about spicing up your regular meetings by using the following questioning framework:

• What are all of the things that are working?
•  How did all of those things end up working?
• What’s not working yet?
•  How can we make things even better?

This can really shake things up and create a surge of energy!