Own The Moment!

I love this simple, powerful phrase because it embodies the essence of everyday leadership. I’m using it more and more as a memorable call to action to show up as the very best version of yourself throughout your work day.

Here’s why it’s become one of my favorite workplace mantras:

1. It reminds us that we are owners of our experience, our work and the success of the entire organization.
2.  It offers a gentle reminder that the small choices that we make throughout our day – moment by moment – are important and that we are more influential than we think.
3. It makes leading a very intentional, purposeful work life seem more doable. It might seem nearly impossible to choose one’s behaviors, thoughts and attitudes for the entire day, which, for too many of us, stretches beyond the traditional eight hours. But to focus in the moment and make courageous decisions – that suddenly seems possible.
4. It supports a culture of personal accountability in which each of us is seen as a capable adult.
5. It’s easy to remember and uncomplicated in its message.

So, how do we translate ‘owning the moment’ into practical action? For me, it means that:

• We thoughtfully relate to others throughout our day. We pay attention to others and we practice the Platinum Rule, treating others as they want to be treated.
• We plan and prepare for meetings, interviews, conversations, and interactions with each other and with our customers, clients or patients so that we can be most useful in those moments. 
•  We are our best selves more often.
• We consider the consequences, intended and unintended, of our words, non-verbal messaging, attitudes, behaviors and general approach.
• We choose to act as adults.
• We sincerely want to help others to have great outcomes, memorable experiences and success. We let others shine and it feels good to us.
• We keep our word, our commitment, to live by our organizational values, our rules of engagement and our very best practices.
• We affirm a realistic optimism in all that we say and do.
• We stand up and do the right thing, even when it’s hard, risky or unpopular.

What does ‘own the moment’ mean to you? What will you do differently tomorrow to own more moments?

Week 1 Leadership Dare: During the next meeting that you attend, own the moment by helping the facilitator to conduct a successful meeting. What would it look like and feel like to be the best version of yourself at that meeting? Remember, little stuff matters!

Week Two Leadership Dare:  This week, I have challenge that may be really tough, even for the best of us. But it wouldn’t be a challenge if it didn’t stretch us, right? So, here goes:

This week, whenever you receive constructive feedback on some aspect of your approach or behavior, I dare you to OWN THE MOMENT! Instead of a knee jerk reaction to shut down, become defensive, dismiss the person(s) and/or their perspective  or even go on the offense and shoot back a sarcastic or cynical response, choose to be your best self. Really think about what the other person had to say. Consider the real possibility that you may have a blind spot when it comes to your behavior. Allow for the fact that this feedback may be spot on. Ask questions to gain more clarity. Think about other options that you could have considered. Don’t overlook the opportunity to thank the person who delivered the feedback. It’s a courageous best practice. Finally ponder what they said and make a commitment to change if it’s the right thing to do.

Sounds simple but it’s not easy to do, particularly if it’s not your habit today. Take the dare and own the moment! 

Optimism is a choice!

Optimism comes from the Latin word for ‘the best.’  It simply means favoring the best possible outcome. For me, there are two brands of optimism:

·         Unrealistic optimism (aka naïve realism) – The thinking here is that great things will happen almost automatically.  Positive thinking alone can transform our wishes and hopes into reality.

·         Realistic optimism – Still a vigorously constructive mental model that views people as active agents who help make things happen. Realistic optimists know that in order to be successful, they’ll have to be courageous, answer the call to action, plan well, access resources, persist, bounce back, carry on and follow through!

I choose to be a realistic optimist!  For me, it’s not naïve, romantic or idealistic; rather, it’s an asset through which I (and my clients) can become my best self and make a difference through my relationships and my work.  Research associates it with greater measures of health & well-being; longer life expectancy; and more general happiness & prosperity.  At work, it’s an essential catalyst for change & improvement as well as creativity & innovation.

Right about now, some of you may be thinking - ”That’s great but…isn’t optimism part of a person’s hardwiring or isn’t it something that you get from your earliest experiences that gets embedded in your psyche?”  

My answer is yes, optimism is hardwired and yes, it may come more readily if we were exposed to it regularly as kids.  Each of us has a unique endowment and experiences in our formative years.  But that’s only part of the story.  Research tells us that education & personal effort can trump your starting point.  Even our genes need regular input to work properly as we grow & develop!  To a large extent, then, realistic optimism is a CHOICE!

Let me give you a simple little example from my own childhood.  One of my mother’s favorite phrases was ‘bad things happen in threes!”  She really seemed to believe this with certainty and went to great lengths to point out many threesomes. I grew up with this mantra in my head.  If something bad happened to me, I would try to game the system be forcing two (small, benign) ‘bad’ things to happen quickly so that I could get clear of that particular cycle.  Finally, there came a point in time, when I realized (through education) that it really wasn’t true and I laughed it off and went on.

I agree with Rick Warren who says, “We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”  Realizing that your past doesn’t necessarily predict your future frees a person and opens you up to sparks of possibility around you.

Cultivating the habit (yes, I said habit!) of realistic optimism is more critical today to overall success than ever before. Why? Because we are navigating powerful currents of change; because our work is more complex, our environment more unpredictable and our pace is blistering. We need every edge to be our best selves.

My coaching question to each of you is….Through what lens will you choose to view your workplace, your community, even our world?

For the remainder of this month, take my leadership dare:

Commit to an optimism upgrade!!

Upgrade 1: This week, think about Rick Warren’s quote, noted above. Are the leftovers from your past that are holding you back or keeping you stuck? Identify them clearly and specifically. Then, for each, identify one thing that you are willing to do to free yourself from its influence.

Upgrade 2: Take a vacation (preferably a long one) from ‘the news’. I think it would be pretty discouraging to see the world exclusively through the lens of the media news.  For me it’s a distorted view. The news reports on things (mostly bad and sensational) that happen, not things that don’t happen. When was the last time that a TV crew reported happily on how many countries weren’t at war or cities that haven’t had a mass shooting? In many cases, when you look at the whole picture, the facts tell a surprisingly optimistic story.

Upgrade 3: Reclaim the word ‘do-gooder’! The heck with those who think this word is anything but a wonderful compliment.  This week, make it a point to make a positive difference in the lives of your colleagues, clients and significant others in your workplace. Consider it your super power for the week!

Upgrade 4: Avoid catastrophizing!  Stop thinking about or expecting the worst – from people, situations or experiences. We’re talking about realistic optimism here, so skip the rose colored glasses. We need to seriously attend to problems and challenges without minimizing or discounting them. But portraying everything as a ‘catastrophe’ is overboard and counter-productive. It contributes to a culture of fear and robs us of our most valuable resource when it comes to problem solving….our creative mind. 

See the Good!

As we settle in to the beginning of another new year, it feels as though it’s the ideal time to refresh our thinking and power up our commitment to intentionally acknowledge what’s right or what’s work around us – in our own lives and with our own work, with our team efforts and with our organization as a whole. (Yeah, I know, this is almost an ‘anti –new year’s resolution’ approach. It’s by design!)

We become what we think about all day long, right? 

Beginning any meeting, conversation, or even a new year, with a firm focus on what’s working around you creates a solid foundation for building enthusiasm, confidence and momentum for more. It gets us on a roll and moving in the right direction. As coach leaders, acknowledging everyday successes is one small way of building and growing ourselves and those around us. And you may be surprised to discover just how many things went well when you put your mind to it! Woo Hoo!!

So let’s get right to it! Take a long look in the rearview mirror at 2014. As you consider the following powerful questions, remember, big doors swing on small hinges; little stuff matters!!

• What are all of the things that went really well for you in 2014? Already this year?
• What was the ‘best’ mistake that you/we made in 2014 that provided great learning for you/us? 
• What was the biggest risk that you took in 2014? Personally? Professionally?
• What was the biggest stretch for you as a leader in 2014?
• What was THE best learning moment of 2014 for you?
• What is your favorite example of someone around you leading from their seat in your organization?

Now, you have to admit, 2014 was full of thrills, adventure and, yes, even, successes (or successes initially disguised as failure)!! And there’s more good news…you don’t have to wait until next January to see the good in 2015!