See the Good!

As we settle in to the beginning of another new year, it feels as though it’s the ideal time to refresh our thinking and power up our commitment to intentionally acknowledge what’s right or what’s work around us – in our own lives and with our own work, with our team efforts and with our organization as a whole. (Yeah, I know, this is almost an ‘anti –new year’s resolution’ approach. It’s by design!)

We become what we think about all day long, right? 

Beginning any meeting, conversation, or even a new year, with a firm focus on what’s working around you creates a solid foundation for building enthusiasm, confidence and momentum for more. It gets us on a roll and moving in the right direction. As coach leaders, acknowledging everyday successes is one small way of building and growing ourselves and those around us. And you may be surprised to discover just how many things went well when you put your mind to it! Woo Hoo!!

So let’s get right to it! Take a long look in the rearview mirror at 2014. As you consider the following powerful questions, remember, big doors swing on small hinges; little stuff matters!!

• What are all of the things that went really well for you in 2014? Already this year?
• What was the ‘best’ mistake that you/we made in 2014 that provided great learning for you/us? 
• What was the biggest risk that you took in 2014? Personally? Professionally?
• What was the biggest stretch for you as a leader in 2014?
• What was THE best learning moment of 2014 for you?
• What is your favorite example of someone around you leading from their seat in your organization?

Now, you have to admit, 2014 was full of thrills, adventure and, yes, even, successes (or successes initially disguised as failure)!! And there’s more good news…you don’t have to wait until next January to see the good in 2015!

If you’re not stretching and growing, you’re done!

I have a friend who has an offbeat saying for every occasion. The title of this piece is one saying that she shared frequently with me. Her point is that the process of learning and developing Is a never ending journey. I can testify to the fact that playing a part in someone else’s success strategy by helping them to be both better and different is incredibly rewarding.

As coach leaders, I believe that it’s our responsibility to care enough about others around us at work to engage with them in the growth process. And by others, I mean our direct reports, our peers, our teammates and even our boss! Through a collaborative and supportive relationship with us, someone may find their courage and dare to reach to the next level of their potential. And that’s a Wow for all involved! Notice that I said – collaborative and supportive relationship! We need to check in on our intention during this work to be sure that it’s pure. This isn’t about us being manipulative even subtly; for example, to get someone to do what we want them to do because that meets our needs or agenda.

Professional growth typically involves several core elements. I’ll briefly introduce each here and we’ll do a deeper dive on and a leadership dare for several of them throughout the month. As you consider each of these, reflect at two levels – think about your own development and then think about assisting others with their development work.

Risk – Growth isn’t about playing small or playing it safe. The performance challenge here is to move beyond our current limitations. Pretty exciting stuff and pretty scary too. It’s often not enough to settle for modest progress these days. Playing small isn’t serving our organizations.

Expansion – Professional growth involves expansion in some way or another. Moving to the next level; doing more of something; breaking with and breaking through habits.

Visioning – When it comes to people growing, we have to have a destination in mind – the desired future. Crafting a vision and a route and then holding it vividly in our mind’s each day is how top performers in all fields achieve their goals. The Cheshire Cat in ‘Wonderland’ said it best to Alice: “Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.”

Stickiness or Sustainability – Growth is about both internal and external change. We’ve got to replace current (maladaptive) habits with fresh ones so that they become a permanent part of who we are and what we do. In other words, intentionality needs to be woven into all growth work. It’s what gives us courage to create and then hold onto a bigger picture of ourselves.

By now you might have concluded that truly challenging others to grow can be a demanding experience. You’re right! But the alternatives, stagnation; settling for ‘average’ or dysfunctional comfort (or according to my friend, being done/‘dead’ professionally) simply aren’t acceptable.

Here’s your leadership dare: Demonstrate the power of growth by growing yourself first. You first!  

“At the boundaries, life blossoms”     -James Gleick 

Assist Others To Identify Their Greatness

Lots of people tell me it’s so much easier to focus on what’s wrong with them (their ‘weaknesses or what they’re not good at) versus what they’re really, really great at. I think that’s because it’s a long standing habit for many of us. We’ve focused there for so long, it’s come to define us. It’s what our self talk is all about. This often limits a person’s willingness and ability to stretch into more challenging assignments, take some risk at work and perform at higher levels. In other words, it can prevent people from leading from their seat!

It’s in everyone’s best interest to help people own the best that is in them!  If we’re tuning into others regularly and training our eyes and ears to unearth strengths, we can see someone else’s potential long before they do. So, as a coach leader, what can you practically do to help others look in the mirror and see what you see? Here are some ideas that you can implement lickety split:

1. Work on yourself first! Let’s get better at uncovering the brilliance in others. Pick one person each day for a week and list all of the assets or positive qualities that s/he has. Be sure to select a variety of people, not only those for whom you already have an affinity.
2. Share your thoughts with each person and listen/observe their feedback.
3. Complete a learning exercise with your team. Ask each person to identify their own signature strengths and their growing edges (this is my reframing of ‘weaknesses’). Review and discuss in detail in your one-on-one meeting OR, if the team is ready for a challenge, review and discuss together at a team meeting!
4. Check out the strengths finder website, www.strengths-finder.com , for other potential tools and techniques. 

The Look and Feel of Everyday Leadership

If you haven’t already heard, nominations for Vantage International’s 2nd annual Take The Lead (TTL) Award are now being accepted! Woo Hoo! This is both an exciting and rewarding time here at our headquarters because we get to hear about the inspired actions of the many everyday leaders in today’s workplace from people like you!  We celebrate the fact that we are intentionally making a contribution to the movement  to re-imagine who we are at work and how we get our work done together. In partnership with each of you, we’re redefining leadership and that’s nothing short of revolutionary!!

Here’s my leadership dare for each of you: Make a commit to nominate an individual or a team (yes, this year, we’ve added a team category!) for the TTL Award and then take action to get it done! For some of us, that means that we’ll have to refocus our own leadership lens and see our team mates, co-workers and colleagues differently than we have in the past. The great news is that everyday leaders are everywhere!! At every level and layer in every organization around the world.

How do you spot an everyday leader?  No one is perfect, but everyday leaders really do set themselves apart by their thoughts, attitudes, behaviors and how they relate to others. What are the attributes and attitudes of someone who leads from their seat every single day? Here are some tell-tale signs that an everyday leader is at work ;-) They…

¬  Act as accountable adults day in and day out at work

¬  Know their job inside & out

¬  See themselves as an ‘owner’ of the organization

¬  Directly connect their everyday work to the organization’s overall success

¬  Look for ways to be different & better daily (because stakes are high)

¬  Know what others do & how it fits with their ‘stuff’

¬  They rarely offer excuses. Instead, they work with creativity, grit & gusto

¬  Assume they have only part of the picture and value other ideas to get the full picture

¬  Avoid constant comparisons (e.g., She took a longer break. He gets all of the best assignments)

¬  Actively help others to be at their best

¬  Applaud & celebrate their team or department

¬  Listen with a cooperative ear

¬  Tune in to their own self-talk and CHOOSE the messages that they send to themselves throughout the day

¬  Choose to be upbeat rather than beaten up

So, what do you think about this list? Does someone(s) come to mind? Hope so!

Because I’m on the lookout for everyday leaders, I see them everywhere and not simply in my clients’ organizations!  That's supremely satisfying for me personally!.  Once you train your own leadership lens differently, you’ll see them too --- sometimes hidden in plain sight. The person in the next cubicle. Our ‘go-to’ team member. The gal at Starbuck’s who lifts your spirits every single morning without fail. The reservationist at a hotel. The administrative assistant at your physician’s office. And the list goes on and on…

Consider these three stellar examples of everyday leaders at work:

Everyday Leader #1 – A competent security guard at a NY casino, Cora, goes far beyond her j-o-b description to connect with guests.  She greets everyone warmly, and returning guests by name! Her special brand of service helps each person to feel uniquely valued by the organization. She generously shares tokens of appreciation – handmade jewelry – with everyone. She is an amazing bright spot. Truly selfless. Positive and appreciative. Creative. I look forward to seeing her each time that I visit!!  And based on the crowd that gathers around her security desk at times, others feel the same way that I do!

Everyday Leader #2 – On a recent flight from Baltimore to Boston, I was thoroughly impressed with the entire Airtran/Southwest crew. They looked and acted happy, yet completely professional. They were engaged with each passenger and I simply know that I was not the only person to feel ‘special.’ They sincerely thanked you for being with them that day; and they did everything it their power to assure a smooth, safe and pleasant experience. And…they delivered!!! I fly frequently, so it takes a lot to get my attention. I cannot remember the last time that I exited a plane smiling!  This crew was memorable in a good way!  They are a team of everyday leaders.

Everyday Leader #3 – We’re currently installing a geothermal heating system in our home and the company representative really lead from his seat throughout the process. He arrived early for our appointment; complimented our home; connected with us; knew his ‘stuff’ inside and out.  He listened carefully to our questions and gave us honest answers. Kept his promises in terms of follow-up.; even sent us a personal thank you note!  It was so easy for both my husband and I to develop swift trust with this professional. Does this sound like someone with whom you would want to work?

Now the ball’s in your court.  It’s your turn to recognize someone for the difference that they make at work. To acknowledge and appreciate someone else’s greatness. .And to celebrate what’s right or good in our world of work!  Make a commitment to nominate someone. And then make a plan to get that nomination completed!

Submit your Everyday Leader nomination here:  http://www.vantage-inter.com/2013-ttl-award/2014-ttl-award

Stay tuned as we’ll be posting related leadership tips/dares throughout November!!

Leadership Dare 1 – Complement someone on the way in which they lead from their seat each day. Be specific in your description. Make it a surprise. Thank the person for setting such a fine example..

 Leadership Dare 2 – Add a section to your regular staff meetings called ‘Everyday Leadership’ moments. Ask all participants to come prepared to describe a recent example of everyday leadership at work in your organization.
 

Ask, Don’t Tell

If you really, really want to build richer relationships at work, help others to lead from their seats, create a culture of owners and become a more influential force in your organization, then you need to make it a priority to master the art of asking great questions!  Now, there are many different types of questions. Background questions. Open-ended and close- ended ones. Confirming questions. Then there are the ones to which I’m referring - the powerful, provocative kind. The ones that:

• Have a purpose beyond information
• Can interrupt a typical thought process
• Have the potential to result in a breakthrough or an aha moment
• Come from and/or follow clearly listening to someone
• Are almost always followed by silence as you allow the question to marinate in the other person’s
• Stem from genuinely wanting to help someone(s) learn & grow.

Asking powerful, provocative questions (or practicing collaborative inquiry, as it’s called) is a hallmark skill of the coach leader. What makes mastery of this skill so challenging is that most business professionals have been conditioned for a very long time to use a telling approach in their communication – I’ll tell you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I’ll direct this team, this project, this work. I’ll lobby for my preferred solution. Telling rather than asking is one of those habits that I’m encouraging you to unlearn! Now!

Let’s really think about the strategic advantages that cultivating a habit of asking instead of telling delivers to you, to the other person(s) and to your organization:

•   A powerful question invites the other person(s) to come up with their own solutions. That’s big! It fosters a greater sense of ownership and opens up the opportunity for others to ‘lead from their seats.’
• It can be a portal for innovation and creativity. You may have a good solution to a problem. You may have one right answer for a situation. But someone else might have an even better one! Someone else’s idea could be a best practice.
•  Asking someone for their thoughts or opinions says to that person, “ I value your perspective. I think you’re smart and capable. I trust you.”
•  A shift from telling to asking helps us to acknowledge that we’re not the only person with worthy ideas.
• Asking intentional questions allows us to fulfill the #1 priority for us all in business – to build and grow others around us! Think about the boost of confidence that someone may feel when you ask a question and really listen to their ideas and solutions! 

Developing the self-discipline of asking questions more often will have a huge payoff for you and the organization. But it’s a skill and perfecting a skill takes time, energy, desire, focus and practice. Also, it will take more time to ask questions than tell someone what to do. You need to decide if that short term investment of time is worth the long term dividends of building more independent thinkers and leaders around you! I’m hopeful that you’ll say YES to this opportunity. I’m rooting for each of you!

Powerful, probing questions share some features. They’re:

• Non-judgmental, non-critical
• Simple & straightforward. In fact, most times, the simpler they are, the better they are.
• Asked with a neutral tone of voice
• Followed by silence & clear listening. Yes, you actually have to listen to the other person’s response.

Piece of cake, right? Not so fast. Take it from someone who has been refining my questioning habit for a very long time, it’s simple but not easy to do day in and day out.  So let’s make certain that we have a shared understanding of these points by using a few examples.

Example 1: One of the best questions is also one of the simplest and most effective: “What do you think?” In fact, Tom Peters calls this sentence the four most powerful words in business!  You ask this question and then you listen and allow the other person to think about it and offer their ideas. It sends all of the right messages to the other person – you’re valued; you’re smart and capable; your idea might be the best idea….

Example 2: Here’s an example of how to make-over a same old same old comment into a strong coaching question:

            From: You’re always late in getting out our meeting minutes!

            To: What’s the timeline that you typically follow for releasing our meeting minutes?

So, how can you sharpen your inquiry ability so that you develop the habit of asking, rather than telling and, once you’re in the rhythm of asking, turning good questions into great ones? Here are some do-ables to get you started:

• Start asking more questions! Duh. Make the choice and work through that feeling of awkwardness. It’ll pass. Repetition & determination are your dynamic duo.
• Preare for one-on-one and team meetings by jotting down some possible questions related to key topics. Cultivate the habit of checking those questions before speaking.
• Create a ‘powerful questions’ bank. Think ahead about typical situations that you encounter in your organization and create one or two coaching questions for each. For even more impact, make it a team project.
• Use the go-to question – “What do you think?” Don’t forget to follow it with silence (yes, shutting up is a great skill to master!).
• Find a partner and work on this together. Ask your partner to highlight any missed opportunities to use the ask, don’t tell approach.
• Put your mind and heart to it. To change your habit, you’re going to have to be aware and intentional. You’ve gotta want this new habit to catch fire.
• To sum it all up, coach leaders intentionally replace the habit of “telling people around us what to do” with the new habit of asking questions of others. This is immensely beneficial because it allows the other person to create their own solutions, to take moderate risks, to become more effective decision makers, and to more fully engage in the everyday life of the organization.

Sometimes, I’m asked if asking more questions is really that big of deal. What do you think?

***RELATED LEADERSHIP TIPS***

Leadership Tip #1

Take the Tom Peters challenge to jump start your new inquiry habit! Pick a work day in the next week. For that day, make it your business to ask the question “What do you think?” in appropriate situations. Keep track of the number of times that you say it. At the end of the day, check your total. Notice what difference that question made. Celebrate new insights and relationship wins. Sustain this newly acquired habit.

Leadership Tip #2

Here are two of my favorite quotes on questioning for you to contemplate:

"We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong." – Bono

"The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions." - Antony Jay

Leadership Tip #3

How about spicing up your regular meetings by using the following questioning framework:

• What are all of the things that are working?
•  How did all of those things end up working?
• What’s not working yet?
•  How can we make things even better?

This can really shake things up and create a surge of energy!

Take The Lead Book Receives a CIPA Award!

We wanted to take a quick moment to share some great news that we recently received here at Vantage International:

Take The Lead Everyday Leadership Series #1:  Engagement won a CIPA award!  We are extremely grateful and would like to thank all of our avid supporters.  Stay tuned as Leta is currently working on the second book in the Leadership Series.  We can hardly wait to get it out to everyone!!

Old Habits Die Hard

A discussion that I had recently with a dear colleague of mine, Lindsey, inspired some new and valuable insights for me that I’d like to share.

She and I were debriefing after a leadership program that her organization was sponsoring. We were both pretty enthused about the new, fresh conversations and behaviors that were surfacing as a result of the learning. And we were, of course, talking about sustainability – How challenging it can be to make lasting changes to habits that, for some, have been in place for a long time.

Inevitably, our conversation turned to the strength and resolve that each of us must find deep within ourselves when we are ‘breaking with’ old habits and ‘breaking through’ to more effective replacements. We acknowledged this to be particularly true when we’re back in our daily routine and are confronted with some of those ‘same old same old’ behaviors that are, at best, a buzz kill and, at worst, an organizational toxin. You can probably name the same behaviors that we mentioned to one another – If you guessed gossiping, idle complaining, back biting and back stabbing, cynicism and general put downs, you’re right!

That’s when Lindsey asked one of those powerful questions – something so simple yet so true and so illuminating that it stops you in your tracks for a moment as you really think about it. Trust me; I didn’t see this one coming. With a sigh, Lindsey said, as she thought about those toxic behaviors, “It’s pretty discouraging to realize that high school never really ends, does it?”

We looked at each other for a minute without saying anything and then we both nodded. If we were in a cartoon, you would have been able to see a big, blinking light bulb appear above our heads. I think Lindsey’s insight is a wake-up call for us all. It really was for me. Lots of the everyday behaviors that we choose at work are childish and immature leftovers from junior high!  And that’s just so unworthy of us! Think about it……back stabbing, meanness, talking about someone behind his/her back, trying to ‘get away with’ stuff, making lame excuses for not doing the right thing, petty jealousies born of insecurities, cliques and the list goes on. Reliving high school reminds me of the movie Ground Hog Day, only creepier and of far more significance.

Seriously, is this the best that we can be together? Why do we choose to participate in or tolerate (and, therefore, perpetuate) these patterns as adults at work when they didn’t do any good or felt bad way back when? Why are we stuck in behaviors that we should have outgrown long ago?

More importantly, what’s it going to take to ditch them permanently? Have we made peace with this elephant in the middle of the room by looking the other way when we experience them because they seem familiar or fairly innocent or because we’re guilty of them too?

If you’re ready to unhook from these recycled high school behaviors, here are some small steps that can get you moving in the right direction. Remember…

“To change your experience, change yourself. To change yourself, change your mindset.”

Do-ables

• Do whatever it takes to remind yourself throughout the day that we are all ADULTS at work. Avoid words or actions that convey any other messages. For example, stop referring to your team members as your ‘kids’ and/or acting like a parent. So, enough already…put on your big guy and big gal pants and choose to act like a grown-up throughout your work day.
• Do your part to offer universal education on behavioral expectations in your organization. This might include such things as:

¬  Code of conduct review and update

¬  On-boarding and ongoing mini programs on ‘leading from your seat’

¬  Identify the ‘dirty dozen’ – the twelve junior high behaviors that you won’t tolerate in the organization – and create an awareness campaign

¬  Discuss the importance of adult-adult relationships at regular staff meetings, morning meetings. Use examples

¬  Create a marketing campaign – for example, No whining allowed…Gossip free zone. In fact, make a contest of it and give a prize to the winning team.
 

• Catch folks making the right choices and acknowledge & reward.
•  Have a low tolerance for those behaviors – call them out (respectfully and professionally) whenever possible.
•  Be certain that there are consequences for continuing these immature behaviors; that everyone knows what they are and that they are fairly and consistently applied.

If you want to take a walk down memory lane and fondly re-visit your high school years then do it – dust off your yearbook, attend a reunion or find classmates on social media. But be darn sure that you leave those immature behaviors out of the picture. We’re not fifteen anymore and high school really is over!