Optimism comes from the Latin word for ‘the best.’ It simply means favoring the best possible
outcome. For me, there are two brands of optimism:
·
Unrealistic optimism (aka naïve realism) –
The thinking here is that great things will happen almost automatically. Positive thinking alone can transform our wishes and hopes into reality.
·
Realistic optimism – Still a vigorously
constructive mental model that views people as active agents who help make
things happen. Realistic optimists know that in order to be successful, they’ll
have to be courageous, answer the call to action, plan well, access resources,
persist, bounce back, carry on and follow through!
I choose to be
a realistic optimist! For me, it’s not naïve, romantic or idealistic; rather,
it’s an asset through which I (and my clients) can become my best self and make
a difference through my relationships and my work. Research associates it with
greater measures of health & well-being; longer life expectancy; and more
general happiness & prosperity. At work, it’s an essential catalyst for
change & improvement as well as creativity & innovation.
Right about now, some of you may be thinking - ”That’s
great but…isn’t optimism part of a person’s hardwiring or isn’t it something that
you get from your earliest experiences that gets embedded in your psyche?”
My answer is yes, optimism is hardwired and yes, it may
come more readily if we were exposed to it regularly as kids. Each of us has a
unique endowment and experiences in our formative years. But that’s only part of the story. Research
tells us that education & personal effort can trump your starting point. Even our genes need regular input to work properly as we grow & develop! To
a large extent, then, realistic optimism is a CHOICE!
Let me give you a simple little example from my own
childhood. One of my mother’s favorite phrases was ‘bad things happen in
threes!” She really seemed to believe this with certainty and went to great lengths
to point out many threesomes. I grew up with this mantra in my head. If
something bad happened to me, I would try to game the system be forcing two
(small, benign) ‘bad’ things to happen quickly so that I could get clear of
that particular cycle. Finally, there came a point in time, when I realized
(through education) that it really wasn’t true and I laughed it off and went
on.
I agree with Rick Warren who says, “We are products of
our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” Realizing that your past
doesn’t necessarily predict your future frees a person and opens you up to
sparks of possibility around you.
Cultivating the habit (yes, I said habit!) of realistic
optimism is more critical today to overall success than ever before. Why?
Because we are navigating powerful currents of change; because our work is more
complex, our environment more unpredictable and our pace is blistering. We need
every edge to be our best selves.
My coaching question to each of you is….Through what lens
will you choose to view your workplace, your community, even our world?
For the remainder of this month, take my leadership dare:
Commit
to an optimism upgrade!!
Upgrade
1:
This week, think about Rick Warren’s quote, noted above. Are the leftovers from
your past that are holding you back or keeping you stuck? Identify them clearly
and specifically. Then, for each, identify one thing that you are willing to do
to free yourself from its influence.
Upgrade
2: Take
a vacation (preferably a long one) from ‘the news’. I think it would be pretty
discouraging to see the world exclusively through the lens of the media news. For me it’s a distorted view. The news reports on things (mostly bad and
sensational) that happen, not things that don’t happen. When was the last time
that a TV crew reported happily on how many countries weren’t at war or cities
that haven’t had a mass shooting? In many cases, when you look at the whole
picture, the facts tell a surprisingly optimistic story.
Upgrade
3: Reclaim
the word ‘do-gooder’! The heck with those who think this word is anything but a
wonderful compliment. This week, make it a point to make a positive difference
in the lives of your colleagues, clients and significant others in your
workplace. Consider it your super power for the week!
Upgrade
4: Avoid
catastrophizing! Stop thinking about or expecting the worst – from people,
situations or experiences. We’re talking about realistic optimism here, so skip the rose colored glasses. We need
to seriously attend to problems and challenges without minimizing or
discounting them. But portraying everything as a ‘catastrophe’ is overboard and
counter-productive. It contributes to a culture of fear and robs us of our most
valuable resource when it comes to problem solving….our creative mind.
