What Can A Rose Teach Us About Workplace Relationships?

It seems like forever ago that I came across ‘The Rose Story.’ I don’t remember the source or the circumstances; what I do remember is that it was one of those mini AHA moments for me. A real whack on the side of my head!

The Rose Story popped into my mind twice in the past few weeks as I was engaged in two separate but similar coaching conversations. In both cases, capable leaders committed to the coaching model were struggling with disappointment and frustration.  In one situation, the leader was second guessing herself for promoting a rising star to a challenging position. From the leader’s perspective, the individual was ‘letting her down’ by not rising to the occasion. In fact, the newly promoted team member seemed overwhelmed and unsteady in the role. The leader was increasingly frustrated by the amount of time, energy and attention that was personally required of her to support this person and the work.

In the other case, a savvy, experienced leader was impatient, unsupportive and overly critical of a new colleague. From the experienced leader’s perspective, the new colleague had not ‘earned’ an executive position; she was immature, overly eager and inexperienced.  And now they were peers; it just didn’t seem fair or reasonable to her.

I think that it’s too easy to fall into such traps. Using ourselves as we are today as the gold standard for everyone else. And perhaps conveniently forgetting our own missteps and insecurities on our leadership journeys. If we are to become more masterful coach leaders, then most of us must fundamentally shift our thinking about the people around us at work. We need to begin to acknowledge and affirm that we are all capable, smart, talented, creative, willing and accountable. We have to understand that we are at different stages of leadership & professional maturity; and of education & experience. And that different is okay. It doesn’t mean less than or inferior. That’s the powerful lesson that a rose can teach us about the people with whom we work. And by teaching us about others, it simultaneously enlightens us about ourselves. Read on for your own personal AHA moment: 

 THE ROSE

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small but we do not criticize it as “rootless” and “stemless”. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as “immature” and “under-developed”; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care that it needs at each stage of its growth. Finally, as the rose’s bloom fades and the petals fall, we gather them and use them for fragrance and healing. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.

Here’s your May leadership challenge:

Week 1:  Keeping the Rose Story in mind, reach out to someone around you who is starting a new leg of their career journey (or maybe taken on a significant challenge) and nurture & nourish that person. Recognize their potential. Express belief in them; encourage & feed them through affirmation. Then stand back and watch them take root!!

Week 2: Share the Rose Story with others. Your team. Someone who may be struggling with self-doubt. Using coaching questions ask people what it means to them and how we can apply it to our relationships at work.

Week 3: Perfect enough! That’s the theme of our leadership challenge this week. The Rose Story applies to you too. You are perfect enough right where you are. You care enough. Know enough. Do enough. Make it a priority to tend to yourself. Affirm and appreciate who you are today and look to be both better and different every day. I often tell myself, “I’m satisfied with who and where I am while eagerly anticipating even more in the future!)

Week 4: Collect Positive Aspects! The final leadership dare of the month is to purposefully look around your workplace. Celebrate the wonderful diversity. Rejoice that everyone isn’t exactly like youJ Think of each member of your team or work group and identify one or two things that are positive or great about them. What are their special talents? What unique contribution do they make? Then make it a point this week to share your insights.  Give them the care and attention that they want and need to build and grow themselves.